back in blog world
sigh...It's good to be back. I want to give my blog a hug to console it because it has been abandoned for so long, but I think that's perhaps a bit too melodramatic for this down-to-earth girl--and extremely impossible given the limitations of interaction between the two- and three-dimensional worlds (but the thought definitely sparks some interesting scenarios in my imagination--the "what if'" that were actually possible...hmm).
Lately I've been thinking that my recent reluctance to write, my avoidance of anything related to putting my thoughts down in any sort of permanent way, is linked to something that writing forces me to be--completely honest. If I'm avoiding something, or not willing to face things in my heart, I don't write. When I write, my words stare me down, force me to say something true and real--if they aren't true and real, their falseness is so loud, vivid, and painful that I have to scrap them, start over. The subject doesn't have to be related to what I'm struggling with...to write anything, I need to let myself be open. If I close parts of my heart to myself, what comes out is lessened in some way. Others might not know, but I know, and that's enough to keep me pretty honest. It's hard to be at peace when you lie to yourself. At least it's never worked for very long with me.
hmm...This feels nice.
Lately I've been thinking that my recent reluctance to write, my avoidance of anything related to putting my thoughts down in any sort of permanent way, is linked to something that writing forces me to be--completely honest. If I'm avoiding something, or not willing to face things in my heart, I don't write. When I write, my words stare me down, force me to say something true and real--if they aren't true and real, their falseness is so loud, vivid, and painful that I have to scrap them, start over. The subject doesn't have to be related to what I'm struggling with...to write anything, I need to let myself be open. If I close parts of my heart to myself, what comes out is lessened in some way. Others might not know, but I know, and that's enough to keep me pretty honest. It's hard to be at peace when you lie to yourself. At least it's never worked for very long with me.
hmm...This feels nice.
posted by Mandy at 11:28 AM
1 Comments:
I sometimes talk about writing that is meant to conceal, rather than reveal. Writing meant to conceal is always feels like a vague artifice, like something that appears substantial but is ultimately unsatisfying--like cotton candy. Still, revelation takes courage. The more we're willing to reveal in our lives, the more revelatory our writing will be.
P.S. Good to have you back!
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