more fierce and wild at every word
Chapel posed an interesting question today: as Christians we are told to not become weary of doing good--and the speaker asked, "What if you do?" She answered by reminding us through George Herbert's "The Collar" (wonderful poem by the way, if you haven't read it, do) of our position as a child of God and his role as our Lord.
But I'm left with more questions. I found myself sitting in my classes thinking, "Yes, he's my Lord, I'm his child...I know this, but I'm still weary, bone-tired--not just physically. It's a good truth, but what do I DO?" As I type this, I'm thinking that her message was one of resting in those roles--but my heart is stuck on the line before: "I raved and grew more fierce and wild at every word." I'm mired in the trying, or more truthfully, I'm mired in the wanting to try. I want to rest and let it all go, but that seems so contrary to all I've been taught. I'm not sure I can find the balance between letting go and holding onto enough so my life can keep running--responsibilities are still there and transferring to a hermitage is probably not an option. I think I want to sometimes.
What was Paul thinking when he wrote those words? Did he ever get weary of it all--the trying and striving--is that what it is all about? Is endurance found in pressing on, or is it in resting? Maybe the resting just seems too simple, or perhaps just not practical, or maybe it's just that it leaves me with nothing to DO. Resting is such an abstract concept, and I'm not sure I know how to make that happen.
But I'm left with more questions. I found myself sitting in my classes thinking, "Yes, he's my Lord, I'm his child...I know this, but I'm still weary, bone-tired--not just physically. It's a good truth, but what do I DO?" As I type this, I'm thinking that her message was one of resting in those roles--but my heart is stuck on the line before: "I raved and grew more fierce and wild at every word." I'm mired in the trying, or more truthfully, I'm mired in the wanting to try. I want to rest and let it all go, but that seems so contrary to all I've been taught. I'm not sure I can find the balance between letting go and holding onto enough so my life can keep running--responsibilities are still there and transferring to a hermitage is probably not an option. I think I want to sometimes.
What was Paul thinking when he wrote those words? Did he ever get weary of it all--the trying and striving--is that what it is all about? Is endurance found in pressing on, or is it in resting? Maybe the resting just seems too simple, or perhaps just not practical, or maybe it's just that it leaves me with nothing to DO. Resting is such an abstract concept, and I'm not sure I know how to make that happen.
posted by Mandy at 6:21 PM
4 Comments:
Hmm... What do I DO.... Not to be overly crossblogging, but is it about what you do or who you are? See Judy's "Be a Revolution". I think maybe when Herbert heard God say "Child!", there was so much more REALITY packed into the word than we can imagine from laser toner on a yellow half-sheet. There's the rub -- finding the rhythm of doing and being... or is it only freeing to do from being places...? Not really sure, just wondering with you... Keep 'em coming, girl, you're awesome!
Rest... maybe it's like learning to ride a bike. Maybe it takes practice. Maybe our anxious selves don't let go easily and we have to gently go... go gently.
You're asking good questions about aspects of that chapel, Mandy. Unfortunately, we have bought into the hyper-masculine, Western mindset that says rest is wasting time and that godliness is found in busyness. It's a sinful accomodation of the culture. Rest is counter-cultural!
In Isaiah 30:15, God says to the Israelites, who were caught always in a restless activism, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." I've seen that embroidered on things at Northwestern Bookstore. We like the sentiment. But the verse goes on, "But you would have none of it. You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.' Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'" Like the Israelites, we want to do things our way, under our own strength. We reject the offer of rest and quietness, which, indicidently, is linked to strength, repentence, trust, and salvation.
P.S. I agree with Jeff--check out my posting on being a revolution and see what you think.
Okay, I'm an English teacher who cannot edit her blogging comment. I DO know how to spell "incidently." Thank you.
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