In the movies
Tonight a whole group of us got together to hang out--complete with a potluck and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. (If you haven't watched the movie, I pretty much spoil it here, so don't read on if you don't know the end) It was very thought provoking conversation (as it always seems to be with this group), everything from hyperreality to funny stories to wondering if it were really possible to write a compelling conversion story.
Apart from my mind whirling with the subjects we touched on, I can't pull myself out of the movie. But that's pretty normal for me. I don't just watch movies, I'm in them. If I can't connect with the characters emotionally, I'll be bored and probably not finish the movie. But if I watch and connect, I start to care deeply about the characters and their stories...which is why I usually can't keep my mouth shut, and before I know it I'm yelling at Joel to run from the evil spotlight because it'll take away his memories or pleading with Clementine to see that Patrick is a sick, twisted kid who is using someone else's words to manipulate her. Their stories become real to me even though I know they aren't, and I found myself wanting to laugh with delight when Clementine and Joel finally reconcile...
I wonder why, sometimes--why these movies affect me so deeply. Maybe it's because the emotional part of me is so intrinsically part of how I see anything and to separate myself from even an imaginary person's story means not caring. Maybe it's because I hope that if the story ends well in the movie, my story will do the same--even though I know life isn't like Hollywood or fairy tales, I still think it might be somewhere in the leftover part of my child's heart.
And then I let myself feel because when I think about it that way, I'd rather err on the side of caring too much than not caring at all because I want that child sense of wonder and abandon. To live my life with abandon...maybe that's dangerous...but I think what I'm looking for is to be able to live a life of delight and not be afraid to show it. Sometimes I think we are all afraid to show it.
Apart from my mind whirling with the subjects we touched on, I can't pull myself out of the movie. But that's pretty normal for me. I don't just watch movies, I'm in them. If I can't connect with the characters emotionally, I'll be bored and probably not finish the movie. But if I watch and connect, I start to care deeply about the characters and their stories...which is why I usually can't keep my mouth shut, and before I know it I'm yelling at Joel to run from the evil spotlight because it'll take away his memories or pleading with Clementine to see that Patrick is a sick, twisted kid who is using someone else's words to manipulate her. Their stories become real to me even though I know they aren't, and I found myself wanting to laugh with delight when Clementine and Joel finally reconcile...
I wonder why, sometimes--why these movies affect me so deeply. Maybe it's because the emotional part of me is so intrinsically part of how I see anything and to separate myself from even an imaginary person's story means not caring. Maybe it's because I hope that if the story ends well in the movie, my story will do the same--even though I know life isn't like Hollywood or fairy tales, I still think it might be somewhere in the leftover part of my child's heart.
And then I let myself feel because when I think about it that way, I'd rather err on the side of caring too much than not caring at all because I want that child sense of wonder and abandon. To live my life with abandon...maybe that's dangerous...but I think what I'm looking for is to be able to live a life of delight and not be afraid to show it. Sometimes I think we are all afraid to show it.
posted by Mandy at 12:24 AM
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