the big, bad worry monster
It's over now--the big interview with Caribou. I thought it went as well as possible, and now the only thing to do is continue waiting, the verb that seems to define every aspect of my life at the moment--from employment to house hunting to my aspirations for a "dream career" to any sort of plans I still want to scrounge up for this summer. Jen's blog really captured the feelings a lot of us recent grads are probably having...a longing for security and stability. Having my life be post-graduation gives me not only a lot more time to think but a lot more time to worry...about the future, finances, things I can't control (but would sure like to get my little mitts on).
Sometimes I feel like I have to make "trust God" my little mantra--something to repeat to myself anytime the big bad worry monster rears it's slimy, tickling antenna in my brain. I know (from experience and the advice of some wise people) that "just try harder" is about as effective as trying to "just try harder" myself to the moon. No matter how hard I try to escape gravity, my feet are still glued to the ground. So I'm back to repeating my mantra, because little else seems to work, but it seems so much like the old try-harder game that I feel at a loss as to just how to "trust God more." Not like there's some 5-step solution to it anyway... Though sometimes the idea is tempting when I'm itching for answers and for something besides questions.
Sometimes I feel like I have to make "trust God" my little mantra--something to repeat to myself anytime the big bad worry monster rears it's slimy, tickling antenna in my brain. I know (from experience and the advice of some wise people) that "just try harder" is about as effective as trying to "just try harder" myself to the moon. No matter how hard I try to escape gravity, my feet are still glued to the ground. So I'm back to repeating my mantra, because little else seems to work, but it seems so much like the old try-harder game that I feel at a loss as to just how to "trust God more." Not like there's some 5-step solution to it anyway... Though sometimes the idea is tempting when I'm itching for answers and for something besides questions.
posted by Mandy at 4:43 PM
1 Comments:
I've been thinking about control recently, too... surprising myself sometimes (& disappointing myself) by how many things I catch myself wanting to try to control, even though it's futile, rather than just waiting and trusting. Funny how something as "simple" as waiting can be so incredibly hard...
Ran across this great quote by Erwin McManus the other day (yeah, he's a favorite of mine): “We cannot be so anxious to accomplish the vision that God has placed in our hearts that we only see the straight line. The journey is full of unexpected twists and turns—the very context for God’s miraculous surprises.”
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